Validation
Here's the situation: wandering around killing time waiting for a person to call who hasn't, then that moment of decision, "I've been stood up," and the following feeling of depression.Why did he/she/they bail, no call nothing. Then you find out you have the wrong day and it suddenly gets better. It makes me wonder. Why do we always look outside ourselves for vaildation? and
Can we ever get around this feeling?
Why can't I just say whatever, they didn't call their loss. Well, I guess I can say it but I don't ever feel it. It seems to me that despite how controlled people are, how professional they come across, how good they look, somewhere deep inside they want aceptance. I may be making a generalization here but it is true for me and all the friends I have talked to about it.
When you go out for drinks with people the first time there is an inherent nervousness - butterfiles in your stomach - you don't know what they expect of you and if you don't know what they expect how should you act.
In a perfect world it would be socially acceptable to handout questionaires during meetings, dates, gathers of any sort. The questions would read like this. What were you expecting from this event? Why did you want to meet with me in a social setting? Have I met your expectaions for how you thought I would behave? IF not please give suggestions on where to improve.
But, until that does become socially acceptable I guess I am left psychoanalyzing other people's behaviour, reading and rereading e-mail, and feeling nervous.
posted by Angela @ 11:14 a.m.
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